It’s the start of something’ new, it feels so right, to be here with you...OHHH haha:D

I have officially decided to start out fresh and new.  Man, I have had such a tough summer/semester and I am SICK of constantly thinking about the past and worrying about the future.  EVERYDAY I fret about the same exact things…and I’ve come to realize it seriously harshes my mellow.  When I’m dwelling on the past I not only feel down and frustrated, but it keeps me from living to the fullest right now!  What’s the point???  I also think that dwelling on the past…makes me worry about my future!  Now is now, and my future is later…I gotta just let go and let God take care of it.  He knows what’s best for me anyway.  The three things I want to completely focus on right now:

1. Personal devotions and journaling: I gotta get back to doing this every single day.  Obviously devotions keep me on track.  I’ve found that since I’ve been slacking on my devotions, my life is really lacking “fruit”.  I’ve been struggling with things that used to be easy like…self control and patience.   I gotta get going and live completely for God.  Oh and journaling.  Journaling is like my...own free therapy session! Haha.  I’m able to spit out everything that happened during the day, reveal everything I’m thinking and process all the feelings that those thoughts bring up! 

2. FINALSSSS!  See…there’s seriously no time for other thoughts and feelings because it’s totally time to buckle down and study. All this worrying has brought my grades down in 2 of my classes (I HATE chem…srsly) and hopefully if I let go and completely focus, I’ll bring it back up!  Only a few more weeks left…I think I’m going to make it through:)

3. Work: BLEH! Haha…I literally have nightmares about work…but I think it’s because I’m not giving work 100%.  I’m usually all tired and grumpy from school by the time I make it to work..but who cares!  I gotta give it my all and smile smile SMILE!!!:)

Man, this is going to be easier said than done because I’m basically conditioned to think about the past everyday…but I’m pretty positive I’ll live a much more joyful and fulfilled life If I change that!

Ps. For those who do not yet know, I am in LOVEEEE...with my handsome Denzel:)  He's my baby<3

God will never let us go:)

“Jesus?” he whispered as his voice choked. “I feel so lost.”

A hand reached out and squeezed his and didn’t let go. “I know Mack, but it’s not true. I am with you and I am not lost.  I’m sorry it feels that way but hear me clearly: you are not lost.”

I have once again jumped into the adventure that is “The Shack” and wow….what a journey it is.  The Shack is a novel, fiction in fact, concocted in the mind of the brilliant author Wm. Paul Young.  If you’ve ever read it, you will support me in saying that though it may be 100% false, when you read it, you experience it as if it is so completely and utterly real. It’s weird how I can feel like I’m experiencing all of it firsthand!

Though it’s one of those books filled with a million bazillion wonderfully usable quotes and ideas, the one I started this post with caught my attention this past week.   The main character and hero of the novel, Mack, who has experienced a pain that no human should ever have to endure, has drawn completely away from God.  He not only feels so lonely and angry, but completely lost in his depression and sadness. Sound familiar at all? I’m pretty sure we can all relate at one time or another during our lives.

Now let me set the scene:  Mack is having an all too real encounter with the almighty creator.  Jesus and Mack in this scene are laying on a dock, by a lake under a breathtakingly gorgeous blanket of stars.  They’re having this intimate moment of bonding, sharing laughing and relating and suddenly get quiet to admire God’s beautiful creation.  That’s when Mack says this quote. I gotta admit it made me cry! 

Often I feel exactly how Mack feels.  You know those days, weeks, moths, or years when you’re pretty sure that the whole world is against you and you just can’t fight anymore?  Don’t worry, I have them too.  Sometimes I just sit in my room, completely worn out, and say exactly what Mack said…Jesus…I am just so very lost.  Though maybe the voice of Jesus is not as audible to me as it was to Mack in this scene, it can be heard through his word.  “God is our refuge and strength,

   an ever-present help in trouble.

2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way

   and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

Psalms 46: 1-2

I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
   he delivered me from all my fears.
⁵ Those who look to him are radiant;
   their faces are never covered with shame.

Psalms 34:4-5

Jesus hears me when I’m calling out in those moments of unfathomable frustration and he is always with me, like he told Mack.  Though maybe I forget on those bad days, I have nothing to fear but plenty of reason to be radiant and shameless.  NEVER EVER FEAR and rest easy in the fact that even when you’ve lost your way, God’s got your back!

GOAL

I WILL post somthing new by the end of this week!!!

and my long term goal is to poast at least 2X every month! BAM
<3
psalms 34:4

mhmmmm thats right!;)

So on this episode of asianslikerice blog…you will read something that has never been revealed before…MARI’S LIST OF TOP 5 MEN THAT SHE CAN NEVER EVER HAVE!!! Ready for this??? Let’s roll:D hehe


#1 on our list is gorgeous, delicious…and he’s like how I like my coffee…black and strong…HAHA! Ok fine I like my coffee with tons of milk cause let’s face it, it’s really really nasty without it(yucky) but that’s besides the point: my number one on my list is none other than the beautiful Denzel Washington:) ok comonnn…every single role he has in a movie..is like the dream man! He’s manly, but sensitive, understands how your feeling but isn’t afraid to kick some serious booty! Oh and he can also unite a football team that is racially diverse…can u say HOTTIE?! Oh and his body ain’t bad…even if he’s an old man now. Just saying!

Ok now for number 2 on my list… HIDEAKI TAKIZAWA! Ok if you Google image him do NOT judge me! Maybe all his pictures make him look a little…uhm how do you say…girly? But I promise you he’s far from that! His real life personality (that I’ve seen on interviews>.<) is so adorable...very sweet, bubbly and cute and awwww! And his smile…*faints* haha! Oh and to get a real feel for his personality you gotta watch bokudakeno Madonna! Best drama eva…and you’ll fall in love! He always has sensitive parts in movies…he stole my heart! Haha. Oh and I like his singing voice…wouldn’t mind his serenading me when it’s our anniversary and stuff! ;)

The winner of my number three spot issss…uh can you say RYAN REYNOLDS?! Hehehehe(ok doesn’t he give you the giggles?!?!) His part on the proposal...His PART on the proposallllllll…so friggin HELLO cute!!! Like it kills me! He’s just basically the sweetest thing ever…and wow those abs ain’t bad! They might hurt me when we hug though...oh dear:’( haha! Well…his real life interviews are a little disappointing but hey…maybe my expectations are just too too high! His face though…OMG like so gorgeous it kills meeeee! Help meeeee! I LOVE YOU! Who wouldn’t want a man who owns half of Alaska! Ok sorry…

Sooo…I really wanted to give the #4 spot to my hottie with a body Zac Effron…but I saw his interview on Jay Leno and he was a big cocky jerk. My disappointment was immense! So sad! But his eyes…mhmm!

But I found a nice little replacement for him…HELLO Joseph Gordon Levitt!!! Such a cutie and a complete sweetheart! 500 days of summer! Have u seen him in that?! I kind of wanted to propose trough the screen…he just has that sweet innocent but super manlylicious look! It’s too wonderful! Honestly! Oh and he was on SNL…haha his skits were SO not funny haha but he sang “make em laugh” for his opening monologue which made me love him a lot! Donald O’Conner + Joseph Gordon Levitt= dream man? YES!!! Oh and he was cute in inception! Arthur! You’re awesome at tying people up in elevators:) love love love love!

Alright and my number 5 is actually someone who isn’t so popular…but he’s pretty darn awesome!!! My beloved Dan from LA ink! If you’ve never seen the show, Dan is a wonderful man who was born in England, raised in New Zealand and has the sexiest accent:) yep! Sexy sexy! He’s also in a band called The Dear & Departed as the vocalist! HAWT! He’s just one of those like ideal bad boys that has a softer side! And if you watch the show you see how he’s always there to resolve conflict, be a support and...he’s great at what he does! Quite the artist! TALENTED! Gosh darn it…why do people like that not share the talent! Haha anyway though all his tattoos might get old if I saw them everyday…they’re kinda attractive when he’s on the show:)

Well that concludes my list…I know you want more but sorry this is all for now!:) sadly I’ll never get these guys but I’ll get one that’s BETTER! BAM

<3

My first post:)

So the lovely Stacey Christianson made me this blog...and I didn’t realize that it would be this hard to think of what to do in my first post! ahhh! muzukashiii! I then happened to come across a fun little questionnaire (ok fine I googled "fun questionnaires...) that will kind of introduce me into this blogging world:) I'll try to answer the questions in detail!

Here we GOOOO:

If you could go forward in time or backwards in time - which would you choose?
I think this is a really hard question! haha I wouldn't mind going backwards and changing a few things in my life with the knowledge I have now (like NOT becoming a bio major...haha and much more) but I also feel so anxious to see how my life will turn out in the future(my future career...will I be married?! House etc!)! Ok...if I had to choose...let’s say go back!

Do you think your name says anything special about you? What name would you choose if you could name yourself? What meaning would you give it?
My name is very unique, beautiful and I love love lovee it! Does it say anything special? Uhmmmm it says that I'm Japanese? haha:) If I chose my name I'd rename myself Mari! It just is soo pretty! I'd like it to mean like...joyful or something though! My name means truth and that’s nice...but I'm not always truthful>.< haha

What is your favorite color? What does it mean/symbolize to you?
I have a few favorite colors! I LOVE purple...I think it’s a nice color cause it’s bright without being over powering! It means...prettiness? haha I also like teal (mostly because it reminds me of my besties Sarah and Stace from high school for some reason) and green which is a very lively happy color!

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? What would you do?
Well someday I'd really like to live in Japan:) not only do I feel really at home there, I just love everything about it! The cars, the food (YUMMMYYY sushi and ramen and katsu and etc!), the people, the trains, the language, the clothes and shopping...and everything:) it's truly the best!

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
omigoodness that’s a hard one...uhh I really like myself the way I am but if I had to...maybe the fact that I'm such a people pleaser! I'm constantly trying to make sure everyone likes me and I try to make everyone happy even when it’s impossible. I think it puts a lot of unneeded stress on me.

If you had one way to help others, how would you?
I don't understand this question hahaha. I guess I'll say....I'd help them by listening to their hurts and problems and be a support? I dunno...

If you could be given any special gift/talent what would you choose?
OMIGOSH there's so many things I wish I could do! I think I would really want to be musically talented! Like be able to pick up guitar really quickly and sing really well!

What words do you like the sound of or the way they are spelled? I love the word joyful because it just has a very happy ring to it! also the word Believe...it sounds nice!

What animal do you wish you could turn into for a day?
I would like to be either a tiger or a dog! Dogs have got it soo easy! They just get fed by their owners, go on daily walks, play with their owners and sleep! Sounds great to me! And a tiger mainly cause they’re just so gorgeous! I wanna be that stunning!

What is your favorite song? What makes it special to you?
My favorite song is..."by your side" by tenth avenue north. This song always feels like it’s written for me...it's weird! I think it's mainly because sometimes I feel really unsure and hopeless, but when I hear this song I'm reminded that no matter what I'm doing, no matter where I am, and no matter how I am, God is by my side and his hands are holding me:)

If you could have a magical mirror that allowed you to see all of your wonderful attributes and helped you see your struggles as something to work on - how would you react?
Wow how would I react?! That’d be soooo cooool! Seriously! I would really study what I need to work on and improve myself!

Ok that’s it:) Hope that wasn't too boring!!!