It’s the start of something’ new, it feels so right, to be here with you...OHHH haha:D

I have officially decided to start out fresh and new.  Man, I have had such a tough summer/semester and I am SICK of constantly thinking about the past and worrying about the future.  EVERYDAY I fret about the same exact things…and I’ve come to realize it seriously harshes my mellow.  When I’m dwelling on the past I not only feel down and frustrated, but it keeps me from living to the fullest right now!  What’s the point???  I also think that dwelling on the past…makes me worry about my future!  Now is now, and my future is later…I gotta just let go and let God take care of it.  He knows what’s best for me anyway.  The three things I want to completely focus on right now:

1. Personal devotions and journaling: I gotta get back to doing this every single day.  Obviously devotions keep me on track.  I’ve found that since I’ve been slacking on my devotions, my life is really lacking “fruit”.  I’ve been struggling with things that used to be easy like…self control and patience.   I gotta get going and live completely for God.  Oh and journaling.  Journaling is like my...own free therapy session! Haha.  I’m able to spit out everything that happened during the day, reveal everything I’m thinking and process all the feelings that those thoughts bring up! 

2. FINALSSSS!  See…there’s seriously no time for other thoughts and feelings because it’s totally time to buckle down and study. All this worrying has brought my grades down in 2 of my classes (I HATE chem…srsly) and hopefully if I let go and completely focus, I’ll bring it back up!  Only a few more weeks left…I think I’m going to make it through:)

3. Work: BLEH! Haha…I literally have nightmares about work…but I think it’s because I’m not giving work 100%.  I’m usually all tired and grumpy from school by the time I make it to work..but who cares!  I gotta give it my all and smile smile SMILE!!!:)

Man, this is going to be easier said than done because I’m basically conditioned to think about the past everyday…but I’m pretty positive I’ll live a much more joyful and fulfilled life If I change that!

Ps. For those who do not yet know, I am in LOVEEEE...with my handsome Denzel:)  He's my baby<3

God will never let us go:)

“Jesus?” he whispered as his voice choked. “I feel so lost.”

A hand reached out and squeezed his and didn’t let go. “I know Mack, but it’s not true. I am with you and I am not lost.  I’m sorry it feels that way but hear me clearly: you are not lost.”

I have once again jumped into the adventure that is “The Shack” and wow….what a journey it is.  The Shack is a novel, fiction in fact, concocted in the mind of the brilliant author Wm. Paul Young.  If you’ve ever read it, you will support me in saying that though it may be 100% false, when you read it, you experience it as if it is so completely and utterly real. It’s weird how I can feel like I’m experiencing all of it firsthand!

Though it’s one of those books filled with a million bazillion wonderfully usable quotes and ideas, the one I started this post with caught my attention this past week.   The main character and hero of the novel, Mack, who has experienced a pain that no human should ever have to endure, has drawn completely away from God.  He not only feels so lonely and angry, but completely lost in his depression and sadness. Sound familiar at all? I’m pretty sure we can all relate at one time or another during our lives.

Now let me set the scene:  Mack is having an all too real encounter with the almighty creator.  Jesus and Mack in this scene are laying on a dock, by a lake under a breathtakingly gorgeous blanket of stars.  They’re having this intimate moment of bonding, sharing laughing and relating and suddenly get quiet to admire God’s beautiful creation.  That’s when Mack says this quote. I gotta admit it made me cry! 

Often I feel exactly how Mack feels.  You know those days, weeks, moths, or years when you’re pretty sure that the whole world is against you and you just can’t fight anymore?  Don’t worry, I have them too.  Sometimes I just sit in my room, completely worn out, and say exactly what Mack said…Jesus…I am just so very lost.  Though maybe the voice of Jesus is not as audible to me as it was to Mack in this scene, it can be heard through his word.  “God is our refuge and strength,

   an ever-present help in trouble.

2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way

   and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

Psalms 46: 1-2

I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
   he delivered me from all my fears.
⁵ Those who look to him are radiant;
   their faces are never covered with shame.

Psalms 34:4-5

Jesus hears me when I’m calling out in those moments of unfathomable frustration and he is always with me, like he told Mack.  Though maybe I forget on those bad days, I have nothing to fear but plenty of reason to be radiant and shameless.  NEVER EVER FEAR and rest easy in the fact that even when you’ve lost your way, God’s got your back!

GOAL

I WILL post somthing new by the end of this week!!!

and my long term goal is to poast at least 2X every month! BAM
<3
psalms 34:4